Really? Really? Is your life so pathetic that you have to go around pretending to be something you are not?
I know most of you are out there saying “Most of them can’t be stupid enough to actually try to pull that off in a surplus store?” Yeah, they are. Seems like surplus stores and gun stores attract the idiots.
A guy just left here after telling me all about his super secret Iraq missions before the invasion, where he had Saddam in his sights but the White House told him not to fire. Sometimes I will confront them, this mouth breather wasn’t even worth the effort.
Here are some of my favorites:
Dude comes in my shop with some stuff to sell. Says he is just back from Afghanistan. I ask what province he was in, since I was recently back as well, he got a blank stare and they said “well, all over”. Then I asked where he spent most of his time- his answer “Bahrain”. Bahrain? I pushed further and the guy just left.
One time a guy came in saying how he was Navy UDT before they were called SEALs and telling me about all his exploits. Then he went to his car to get the “Navy SEAL knife” that he was issued in the 50’s and carried through Vietnam. He brought in a USAF pilots survival knife with a manufacture date of 1995. Had it since the 50’s eh?
My favorite gun shop has a guy coming in claiming he was a USMC sniper with 500+ confirmed kills, all done with a British .303 Enfield.
A guy claiming he was part of a super secret USAF team in Vietnam who were the last ones out of a super secret airfield that was there a year after Saigon fell, and they “blew up the runway with Claymores” just as the last plane took off with them so the enemy couldn’t use it. For those of you who have never seen one go off, a Claymore is devastating on flesh, but at best it would slightly chip the concrete on a runway.
Guys walk in here all the time 175 pounds overweight looking for Navy SEAL items. I don’t even carry any SEAL insignia because guys who are actual SEAL’s know where to buy this stuff or already have it, and I won’t enable these imposters.
They always go big- SEAL, Sniper, Ranger. Nobody ever fakes being a cook or mechanic. The new trend is now “I was a contractor”. I guess they figure than one is easier to BS. I have heard guys at the gunshow tell people all about their time contracting in Iraq- except these guys have been selling at gun shows every month since before 9/11. Did they get to come home on the weekends?
Then I get the guys in here that I can clearly can tell are shopping to try to pass themselves off as fake veterans. An exchange will go like this:
Poser ”Do you sell medals and ribbons?”
Me “We do, what do you need?”
Poser “Can I look at them?”
Me “We keep them behind the counter, just tell me what you need.”
Poser “Well, I need to look at them to see what I want.”
Now anybody who has a legitimate need for awards knows what awards they need. If you can’t name the awards, no way you will remember what color sequence each award is. These guys want to pick stuff that looks good. And that is why if you can’t tell me what you need, you don’t just go rummaging through awards picking ones you think look sharp. Not in my shop anyway. I would rather miss a $5 sale than help these scumbags go be something they are not.
If anyone wants to read all about these idiots being busted, check our the POW Network website. And if you suspect you know one, send them the info, they will expose them if they are a faker.
And if you are going around trying to pass yourself off as something you are not, please stay the hell out of my store.